Momivational Monday – Part 2 – What is Love: Love Does Not

Week 2 of our What is love series for the month of February.  Today let’s focus on what love isn’t and what it doesn’t do.

…It does not envy, it doesn’t boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.

I know it looks like we should know these things however sometimes in our day to day lives I think these items creep into our most intimate relationships (Please don’t leave me hanging on limb of honesty).    Although all the “nots” are important I wanted to take a closer look at a few that I think are most detrimental to our families they are  boasting, dishonoring other, and record of wrong keeping.

Here is a deeper looking into their meanings:

Boast -to speak with exaggeration and excessive pride, especially about oneself. (dictionary.com)

Are you ALWAYS doing something in your home?  Nothing ever gets done unless you do it.  I am guilty of saying these types of things.   As I write them out I see how unloving they sound.  I know that we go out of our way to make sure our families have exactly what they need and that our homes are maintained. We preform out acts out of love for our family especially our children; however, it may not feel so loving when those same acts are thrown in your face.   I know sometimes we may feel overwhelmed or unappreciated and that’s perfectly normal.  Might I suggest we address these feelings slightly differently.  Instead of listing all the things that you always do.  Why not list some of things that you may need assistance doing.  After all your family 1) recognizes that you are always working hard for them they would be more than happy to return the love when asked. 2) People also like to feel needed.  Sometimes doing “everything” doesn’t leave room for others to show you how much they love you in return.

Dishonor – to deprive of honor; disgrace; bring reproach or shame on. (dictionary.com)

When we think of dishonor we think of think of huge public displays of yelling and screaming.  However, dishonor slowly creeps into our families almost daily.   Often disguised as a funny comment or story sharing with our friends.  We lightly brush off the hurt feeling of our family member for our freedom to share, not realizing that we are dishonoring them and we are slowly chipping away at their love.  I am guilty of venting with my fellow moms about frustrating mom moments, sometimes we need a listening ear or advice, however let’s do it in a way that doesn’t bring shame to our children and partners.  Part of protecting our families is giving them room to have growing pains without shame.

Record of wrong keeping

It is easy to get stuck in moment where that a wrong was committed.  Hours, days, months, and sometimes years later we find ourselves still emotionally in that moment.  In the famous words of Queen Elsa “Let it Go”.  There maybe times that when we have to work at rebuilding trust, or having a little more transparency in certain areas due to the indiscretion, however nothing good can come from constantly reminding your family member of what they did wrong long after the offense.  The record keeping makes everyone around you keep their guard up and doesn’t allow for space to strengthen your bound.  We need to consistently search for the learning, teachable, and strengthening moments and move forward in love (patience and kindness).

We are all works in progress and this honestly was a  difficult post to write because I am still working in almost all these areas and I wanted you to know that you aren’t allow. Loving is a daily work and every day we get better at it.

I hope this post helps you create homes filled with even more love.

Was this post helpful to you?  Let me know in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

mothers love

Momivational Monday: Love is

It’s February! In addition to it being my birthday month, February is also known as the month of love.  So I was compelled to board the love train and devote the Monday Momivational posts in February to love. Specifically what love is, what love isn’t, what love does, and what love won’t ever do. I wanted to inspire moms to love even more deeply than we do, and to pour that love into everyone we meet.

mother child

First stop on the love train… What love is …?

Love is patient, love is kind (1 Corinthians 13:4).

That’s simple right? Wrong. I never struggled with these two words so much until I became a mother. After many times of losing my patience and not being so kind I decided to take a deeper look into what was actually required of me in this love thing. Y’all know I enjoy a good word study project so here is what I found.

Patient – bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like. (dictionary.com)

 I don’t know about you, but I felt pretty guilty after reading what was required of me by definition in the  love department. I felt like I didn’t handle any of the mentioned offenses with fortitude and calm and without complaint, and surely not without anger. I wondered if this included when we have 15minutes  before school starts and we are still in the house and the kid is acting like they have all day to get there, or when you catch the kid in a lie, or when they spill milk all over your presentation 10 minutes before you are supposed to walk out the door. I mean clearly the good book had to make exceptions for these things right? Ok, ok, ok I guess I am pushing it a bit.   So with a shattered ego and a heavy heart I continued my word study to see how “Kind” I was not. Here is what I found.

Kind –   desire to do good to others; goodwill; charitableness. (dictionary.com)

I felt a little redemption after the kind word study. I mean everything I do as a mom was with a desire to do good for my child and family so at least I was getting that right. Or was I?

love-life

The honest truth was that I sometimes justified my lack of patience with kindness. Crazy right? Hear me out. My thought pattern was often if I am tough on my child now she will become a responsible adult. That my rants were somehow building character in my daughter that would take her a long way in adulthood and maybe these things are true but what good are they if they lacked love. Love by definition means a calm reaction to the most annoying things.

After my pity party was over I decided to come up with some practical ways that I could get better with putting what love is into practice

1. Count to 10 before I react – This allows me to breathe and think about what I am about to say before I say it.

2. Put myself in my child’s converse – I had to learn to put myself in my daughter’s place. I had start thinking beyond my own frustration and remember that my daughter had feelings and they were fragile. I had to ensure that my responses to her growth moments were not going to be damaging.

3. I had to forgive myself quickly – I had to stop being so hard on myself. I don’t always get it right, and that’s ok. However, holding on to the guilt of when I fall short only weighs me down. It doesn’t allow me the freedom I need to think about how I can improve.

Love is a daily work in progress. So if you feel like you fall a little short don’t get down on yourself. We have the opportunity to choose love daily.

mothers love

 

Do you have a better understanding of what love is? Let us know in the comments below.

 

 

 

Fun Friday: The OMG!!! Tea Party: The Ultimate Tea Party for Girls

Are you looking to spend some “girl time” with your daughter?  Why not check out THE OMG!!! Tea Party: The Ultimate Tea Party for Girls!  See more details below.

shakira OMG TEA PARTY copy (2)

To RSVP and general inquiries www.omgteaparty.com, info@omgteaparty.com, or 732-713-1167.

On Sunday August 24, 2:00 p.m. young girls, teens, and women of all ages will come together at the 5th Annual OMG!!! Tea Party, The Ultimate Tea Party for Girls at the beautiful Liberty Hall Mansion and Museum (1003 Morris Avenue – Union, NJ) to have fun, build self-esteem, and nurture a culture of women empowering women and girl power.

During The OMG!!! Tea Party guests will be treated like royalty and enjoy afternoon tea and gourmet bites served by a costumed wait staff, vision board craft, beauty treatments, tabletop and social media etiquette lessons, and self-esteem building activations.    There will also be entertainment, prizes, photo station and free time to enjoy the beautiful grounds and gardens at The Liberty Hall Museum
Research studies suggest today’s society does not promote the true value and beauty of women.  As a result, a growing number of young girls and grown women experience a lack of confidence and feelings of self-worth tied to physical appearance and sex appeal.  These feelings of inadequacy can spill over into other areas of life including education, relationships, and goal setting.  The OMG!!! Tea Party helps to counter balance this trend by encouraging respect for one’s self and for others by teaching etiquette and experiencing the tradition of afternoon tea, at the same time allowing the attendees to have a fun, memorable experience that is truly out of the ordinary.

To RSVP and general inquiries www.omgteaparty.com, info@omgteaparty.com, or 732-713-1167.

Happily,

Ingrid M. Williams

Momivator

WOW MOM Wedenesday: “Loving The Skin Your In” Interview with Andrea Amador

Hey WOW MOM!   Monday we talked about eliminating the need to compete.  So for today’s WOW MOM Wednesday I couldn’t think of a better interview than the one I had with Andrea Amador about learning to love yourself and how to be become comfortable in your own skin.  Enjoy!

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed today’s episode!  Leave a comment letting us know about your favorite part.  You can find Andrea on

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheJuicyWoman

Website: www.thejuicywoman.com

 

 

Happily,

Ingrid M. Williams

Momivator

Momivation Monday – No Competition

As I move along in this parenting journey and as my daughter moves through her educational journey I have observed this  unspoken competition that takes place in the mom world and the unnecessary pressure that it puts on our children and families to live up to our expectations.  Let me say that I too once was guilty of this very behavior and it made my life and my child’s life very miserable.  So I wanted to share with you the top 3 reasons I couldn’t continue competing and why you shouldn’t either.

no competition

 

1) You’ll never catch up – I’ve discovered that the problem with competing in this parenthood journey is that you will never catch up.  While you are trying to out do the next parent, student, etc. they are actually living.  They are discovering new things to do with their family.  Once you can physically see the fruits of their labor you will are already behind.  You will forever be trying to catch-up to obtain the things that they are working on daily.   There is no substitute of hard work and investing in  your own family.  Which brings me to my second point.

 

2) You won’t be able to discover your family’s gifts -  When we are so focused competing  with other families  we tend to focus on our family’s weakness. When we spend our days focused on the weakness of our spouse and kids, and ultimately ourselves.    We are unable to appreciate the unique strengths that we all have individually as a family.   We are all naturally gifted at something.  The key is to discover what those gifts are and build them up it’s greatest capacity.

 

3) You won’t be able to discover that you are a great MOM -   When we are in a constant place of competition we don’t leave ourselves room to see that we are in fact great moms.   We don’t give ourselves credit for the fact that we are able to keep another human being alive on a daily basis.   We don’t leave room to grow and develop into a mom that can support, encourage, and guide other moms in the journey.

 

erase competition

 

Let’s stop competing and start really embracing the journey of motherhood. One that brings its own set of challenges and the last thing any mother needs is one of those challenges to be another mom.  There is room for us all to shine in our own way.

 

How has competing challenged you in your mom journey?

 

Happily,

 

Ingrid M. Williams

Momivator

 

 

Fun Friday: LTone After Special Rooftop Party WOW MOM Meet-Up

This Fun Friday is dedicated to our WOW MOM Meet – up at the L Tone After Special Roof Top Party Series Launch Party at the Robert Treat Hotel in Newark, NJ on Thursday, August 14, 2014.  I can’t wait to see you there its going to be a great event.  You can purchase tickets here.   I hope to see you there!

 

After Special

Will you be joining me?

 

Happily,

Ingrid M. Williams

Momivator

Fun Friday – Romantic Couple Getaway Ideas

Summer is winding down.  We are currently getting  bombarded with back to school commercials.  Summer camps will end in the next few weeks, and you will embark on your last family outing of the summer soon.  In the meantime, why not steal some “We” time with you and your honey?  We put together a couple of quick weekend get away ideas that you may enjoy!

 

bednbreakfast

1) Bed & Breakfast – Nothing says romance like the setting of a cozy bed & breakfast.  The intimacy of a bed & breakfast allows you the comfort of your home with the silence of a hotel, which presents the perfect opportunity for relaxation and romance.

 

cruisetonowhere

2) Cruise to nowhere – if you are blessed to live near water.  Research options for a cruise to nowhere.  You can enjoy the luxury of a cruise ship without the hassle of a having to find a sitter for 5 days.

casino

3) Casino Night - book a room at the nearest Casino and enjoy the nightlife.  If your budget allows take a weekend trip to Vegas.

 

We hope this list gets your juices’ flowing on how to plan a quick romantic get away with your mate.

Do you have a great couples getaway idea? List it in the comments below.

Have a great weekend!

Happily,

Ingrid M. Williams

Momivator

 

 

 

WOW MOM WEDNESDAY – WOW MOM Episode with Erica Gendal & Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche

We hope this video helps you get started on your path to financial freedom.

 

 

Do you feel motivated to take charge of your financial future after watching this video?  The Budgetnista has a FREE plan to help you live richer see below for details.  Once you signed up comment  on this post “I am a WOW MOM and I can’t wait to Live Richer!”

 
The LIVE RICHER Challenge is a FREE, online financial challenge created by The Budgetnista to help 10,000 women achieve 7-specific financial goals in 36 days.
Sign-up for the LRC at www.livericherchallenge.com

Sign-up for the LRC at www.livericherchallenge.com

Ladies….. Are you ready to strut into the world of:

- great credit

- sizable savings

- diminished debt

- financial freedom

The LIVE RICHER Challenge will help you get results and gain control of your money… for FREE!

It’s FREE… It’s easy… It’s guaranteed to change your life.

Sign-up for the LRC at www.livericherchallenge.com

Thank you for reading today!

Happily,

Ingrid M. WIlliams

Momivator

 

 

Momivation Monday – Help!

help wanted

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve heard several stories about moms ending up on the wrong side of the law because of being in desperate situations or being overwhelmed with the pressures of motherhood, most notably single mothers.  Please know that in no way shape or form am I okay with neglecting or harming your children.  I am simple saying I know how it feel to be overwhelmed under resourced single mother.  The headlines prompted me to examine  my journey as mother more specifically a single mother with one question in mind.  “How did I make it?”  The answer I asked for Help.

Found on http://earthangelunlimited.blogspot.com

Found on http://earthangelunlimited.blogspot.com

We live in a society that glorifies the individual.  Everyone is building their own way, and we are convinced that asking for help is a sign of weakness. However, this individualistic mentality actually keeps us stagnant we get nowhere fast.   I am here today to simply let you know that it is okay to ask for help.  It doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you  a bad mom, it just makes you human.  As humans, we sometimes need the help of other humans.  As moms that need increases.  We have a unique journey creating, nurturing, and preparing people for life and that task is too large and to important to be driven by our egos.

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.  It actually makes you strong.  Being able to say you can’t do it all and then to bring in resources that help you accomplish your goal is a trait of the most successful people.   Let’s start by taking some of the sting out of the word help. The next time you are debating about asking for help remember this acronym.

How

Everyone

Lives

Peaceful

As moms we are often quick to judge and slow to offer a hand.  Lets change that.  Let’s be a little quicker to not only offer but to ask for help when needed.  The future of our society will be determined by the help we offer or ask for  today.  It really does take a village to raise children. Why not start building yours today.

 

Can you think of an area you may need help in?   Do you sometimes fear asking for help?  Post one way you will overcome that fear in the comments.

Have a wonderful Week WOW MOM.

 

Happily,

Ingrid M. Williams

Momivator

 

 

 

Fun Friday: Calgon Take Me Away!

I am sure that everyone is enjoying the awesome days of summer and the family time that comes with it .  As we approach the middle of summer vacation you might be at the point where you need a few mommy minutes to relax and recharge.   You also may feel like you don’t have the time or financial resources to partake in the platinum package at your favorite spa.  So here a couple of ways you can relax in the luxury of your own home.

morning glory 7.18.14 post

1) Morning Quiet Time- some of the most relaxing moments are in the early dawn when the house is sleep. Try setting your alarm for 5am, watch the sunrise, read a book, journal or just enjoy the sound of nothing. We know that this a stretch for the weekend but the clarity of your thoughts throughout the day will be worth the sacrifice of sleeping in.

woman-in-bathtub-with-wine

2) Enjoy a nice long bath- when the kids are down for a nap, outside playing, or occupied with their electronics. Take a moment to find rest in the tub. Bring a magazine, burn a candle and soak the stress of the week away. Not only will you be able to clear your mind, you will also be able to rejuvenate your body in the process.

facials at home

3) Late night pampering – If you want to sleep in and can’t find a moment during the day.  Steal the moment once everyone has gone to bed at night.  You can put on your robe and treat yourself to a facial.

refreshed

BONUS:  We found these great at home facial recipes over at women’sday.com.   Click here to view them.

What are some of the things you like to do to pamper yourself at home?

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Ingrid M. Williams

Momivator